No one gets married planning on living with an alcoholic spouse. That wonderful, charming person who might like to party but is in control slowly changes. The drinking changes from an occasional thing or something that only happens with friends on weekends to more often. The drinking gets out of hand and the spouse’s behavior changes. When drinking becomes an addiction, the alcoholic’s spouse suffers. But, there are ways to help a person cope with the problems caused by an alcoholic partner.
Learn About Alcohol Addiction
To survive living with an alcoholic spouse, one must take the time to learn about this addiction as a disease. Realize that alcoholism is a disease, not a moral shortcoming. It has a set of symptoms and behaviors to look for and is a complicated medical condition. Living with an alcoholic involves overcoming challenges and handling the situation with compassion and empathy while protecting one’s well-being.
Is Treatment a Possibility?
Since alcoholism is a medical condition that comes on gradually, it can sneak up on a person. They may not be ready to admit they are sick and need help for some time. Forcing a person into treatment might not work. Alcohol addiction is considered a long-term, chronic disease. Alcoholics may have a difficult time controlling this addiction or even admitting they are alcoholics.
But when they are ready, there are good alcohol addiction treatment centers to give detoxification treatment. When this treatment is completed, there are sober living communities such as OC Revive Sober Living Orange County This additional support can increase a person’s chances of staying sober and beating alcohol addiction. This additional treatment step involves the patient living in a drug and alcohol-free environment and lifestyle training. Patients need their spouse’s support during all treatment phases especially when they come home.
Making Life Endurable Until the Alcoholic Person Is Ready To Seek Treatment
Living with an alcoholic can put stress and risk on the whole family. When someone is consistently intoxicated and unpredictable, the whole family can be stressed and anxious. Family finances can be damaged by an alcoholic’s addiction and behavior. Is it worse living with someone who is drinking or with that same person when they don’t have access to the alcohol they crave and suffer from withdrawal?
These strategies can make life with an alcoholic more manageable:
· Consider the safety of all family members including children and pets. If violence is occurring, temporary relocation might be needed.
· Don’t let the addicted person have access to your money or bank accounts.
· Try not to enable the loved one’s alcohol addiction.
· An intervention might help. This is when family members, friends, and co-workers get together with a neutral person such as a therapist to meet with the alcoholic and try to convince them to stop drinking or to seek treatment.
· Get the addicted loved one into a treatment program if they are ready. There are different levels of programs including residential ones. The family doctor can help choose the right program.
· Get counseling and support for the whole family. Try support groups.
The National Institutes of Health recommends changing the terminology from alcoholic to alcohol use disorder or AUD to reduce the stigma and emphasize that this is a medical condition. Other ways to help survive living with a person with AUD include refusing to take the blame for their drinking and not taking this person’s actions personally because they are not in control, the disease is. It might be necessary to step back and not try so hard to get the person to stop drinking.
People suffering from AUD will reach a crisis point such as getting a DUI, losing a job, or going to jail. Don’t rescue them, but let it play out and show them they need help. This help can include in-house treatment, counseling, support groups, medication, and more.
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