We all know that spending time with the family is something we all need to do together. But, it appears to happen less and less these days. We all seem to have our own lives, and add into the mix the amount of work we all have to do, it seems to be the main reason that families are so fragmented and spend time apart. If this is you, then it’s vital that you’ve got to spend quality time as a unit. And, with the best of intentions, it doesn’t always happen, but it’s worth rectifying now because it could impact your relationship with your children as you get older. Now, it’s easy for you to make the positive changes, what about if your partner, in your own opinion, doesn’t spend enough time with their children? Father-son time is one of those precious pieces of life, but a lot of fathers don’t appear so forthcoming to do it. If you feel that you need to push your husband or partner in the right direction, so he does spend time with the apple of his eye, how can you do this?
Keep Him In The Loop
It could be as simple as this, he doesn’t know that there’s appointments or playdates scheduled. It’s very easy for one parent to take on the bulk of the duties, but if the other parent doesn’t feel they are part of the equation, then they could easily feel left out, and this will only compound itself over time. This could be your fault, or this could be just a lack of communication between you and your partner. Take the time to rectify this problem, and set up a schedule, or put a calendar on the fridge, so all of the big events are clearly noted, so your partner can make preparations in advance to get time off work, or to reschedule things accordingly. The same applies to leisure activities. If you, as a family, don’t spend much time together, the one way to solve this problem is to schedule in the time. Some people don’t like being kept on a schedule because it feels like life is being somewhat rigid, but if you’ve got problems being together in the same room because of outside commitments, then this has to be done!
Find The Right Activities
Sometimes, the father-son bonding exercise can feel forced. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him play with his son! Instead, look for common ground. Sometimes it’s very obvious, but it can also be something fleeting you might have noticed in both of them. Common interests are always handy, but sometimes it would be something simple, like sitting down and watching a movie together. At least in them sitting together, in the same room at the same time, they have the opportunity to discuss things. The other thing to bear in mind is that they might not feel so connected. This could be because they haven’t found the right activity yet. This isn’t a quick fix, but once you find the right activity, you’re good to go! Another seemingly little thing you can do to push them together is to dress alike. Granted, when your child is old enough to be independent, it’s not going to go down well. But, something matching, like a watch, or a T-shirt, might be that little olive branch to help solidify a small talking point at least. You can go a little bit further and personalize these if you really wanted to, and there are sites like Zoey’s Attic that do many father-son gifts. Or have them buy a memento of a day out together, such as a game, or a concert where they sell t-shirts, it’s that logical extension of helping your partner and son have a shared interest. It doesn’t always happen, and you can force little aspects, such as these ones that are barely noticeable, but it takes a long time for this things to gel. Age is a defining factor for your child in this, remember that.
Enquire If There’s Something Beneath The Surface
Sometimes it might not even be with the child, there could be some anxiety from the perspective of the father. Yes, working long hours and spending time away from the family can mean that they feel far removed from what is normally done as a family. But it could be something more deep-rooted. He could feel like he’s the odd man out because your children won’t open up to him. Naturally, children develop a bond with their mother, and as much as the father tries, these anxieties can develop further over time. Unfortunately, if your partner asks their children a trivial question, such as “how was your day?”, and they might respond with a one-word answer. But when you do it, they talk to you for hours, this can make the father feel disheartened. A trick to fix this is to make sure that you are nowhere to be seen. Get out of the house, so your child has no option but to talk to their father. While you can put them together, it may take a long time for this relationship to develop. And it’s important to remember that sometimes, maybe the father doesn’t want that relationship. As heartbreaking at this is, it’s their choice!
Helping nurture that father-son bond is one of those things that relies on many different factors. You can help push them together, but you can’t force the relationship to blossom. You need to be covert if you are going to try and push them together because the moment one of them catches on, they are both going to bolt in the opposite direction. The father-son bond is one of the most precious things in life, and it’s important to nurture this as soon as possible, especially if they are both quite reticent people. After all, your son embodies half the characteristics of his father, so if they are both stubborn, then it’s going to take a long time.